I struggle with shorts every single summer. I decided this summer that my general dislike for my bare legs was not going to hinder my short-wearing ability as it had almost every summer for the past 5 years. Not only do I have an issue with my legs, c’mon everyone has that one part of their body they can’t stand, but it is really freakin’ difficult for me find a pair of shorts that fits properly. I am a classic pear shape. My waist and my hips/butt are 2 different sizes which results in a lot of riding up, sagging down, and big ol’ gaps in the back every time I sit down. I’m usually a size 8 in shorts, 6’s are too tight in the leg, but fit my waist and 10’s are too big in the waist. So, I settle with an 8 and spend most of the day wearing said size 8 shorts pulling them up, yanking them down, and attempting to stretch out the legs by doing knee-injuring squats. Here is my review of 3 different types of shorts for all of us pear shapes! I know you apple shapes deal with a whole other mess of clothing related issues, but having never been one I cannot comment.
Linen shorts – My saving grace. They usually have a drawstring so I can get the size that fits by butt/hips/legs and tighten them enough to actually reduce the gap and fit my waist. They’re super comfy and come in a bunch of fun colors. The inseam will ride up a little, but not nearly as much as with every other pair of shorts I’ve ever owned. I have a couple pairs from Gap and Old Navy, although in perusing the websites just now I don’t see any available at the moment because everyone is already making room for Fall.
Cotton/Chino shorts – I have one pair of chino shorts that actually fits okay, but in general they’re not the easiest fit for my body type. If I get them in my size they ride up and feel restrictive. If I size up the gap in the back is huge and they continue to ride up because now they’re too long. I imagine that the only people who truly feel comfortable in shorts are those with an actual “thigh gap” and sister that ain’t me. I haven’t even delved into the worst part of shorts, I know you’re all thinking it, when you sit down and all of your thighs squeeze out over the end of the shorts making you look 30 pounds heavier and 20% less attractive. Do thigh gappers deal with this issue or is it just reserved for the rest of us?
Jean shorts – The nemesis of so many. I hadn’t bought a pair of jean shorts in years because I know what I’m getting into (pun intended): chafing, 30 year old butt cheeks hanging out, and tightness at the waist that is super uncomfortable in 90 degree weather. Some of you may be thinking, “Just get a size bigger and your butt cheeks will stay safe and secure inside your pants.” And I know that the person thinking that is not a pear shape because if you are than you would know that if you size up in jean shorts they ride up harder and faster because the waist is too big and the inseam has to settle somewhere, and that somewhere is always a place that’s unpleasant. I did buy a pair of jean shorts last month (see below) because they were on clearance for $4.19 at the Gap Outlet. I wore them when we were away on vacation and they did all right, but I still missed my linens by the end of the day.
Have any shorts successes or tragedies to share? Comment below!